It was the game every England fan, and most other fans, had down as a guaranteed 3 Lions win. Algeria were hopeless against Slovenia in their opening group game and there was no way they would be able to hold out for too long against the awesome might of England.
Well, after the first 10 minutes, it looked as if things would go exactly as predicted. Algeria struggled to string more than a couple of passes together, and their set pieces were dreadful. Unfortunately, the same could also be said of the team in white. England were poor in the early stages. But maybe it was just early match nerves. England and Algeria had never met before in a competitive match and so perhaps both teams were just unsure of each other. As the match wore on though, it became clear that one side began to grow in confidence and for large periods of the game were all over their opponents. They were passing the ball around with relative ease, testing the goalkeeper frequently, and forcing the other team into making mistake after mistake.
But it wasn't the team ranked 8th best in the world.
It was Algeria. A country in Northern Africa with a population nearly 20 million less than their illustrious opposition. A country whose national football team were ranked 103rd in the world just 2 years ago. Since then the Desert Foxes have climbed the rankings and now sit 30th, just 22 places below England in the much maligned FIFA World Ranking System. Egypt, the team beaten by Algeria in the African play off for a spot at the World Cup, are ranked 12th. So work that one out.
Cock-up keeper Rob Green was dropped in favour of the more experienced David James. Glen Johnson, John Terry and Ashley Cole kept their certain places in defence, and Jamie Carragher started alongside Terry in the absence of the injury-prone Ledley King. Aaron Lennon started on the right of England's midfield, with Frank Lampard and Gareth Barry, returning from injury, in the middle. Steven Gerrard was played out on the left wing. Up front, Barnus Doorus Banjonus, or as most people know him, Emile Heskey partnered Wayne 'Best in the World if you believe Terry Venables' Rooney.
Looks like a team capable of coping with even the likes of Italy and Brazil, let alone Algeria, right?
Wrong. England were abysmal. They started on the back foot and stayed there pretty much for the duration of the match. The defence looked shaky and nervous. The midfield, save for Gareth Barry, couldn't string more than 2 passes together, and we might as well have played Bruce Forsyth and Chris fucking Moyles in attack for all the good Rooney and Heskey did for the England cause. David James didn't do a lot wrong, but then he didn't do a lot full stop. Three or four comfortable catches and a weird Lampard back-pass that looked more like an attempt on goal were the only real danger for the England keeper. A Speckled Pigeon (Columba guinea), (sorry, that's the bird geek in me shining through) got the best, and safest seat in the house as it perched on top of the Algerian goal for the whole first half. There was no danger of it being knocked off of that perch, not with Heskey and a surprisingly useless Rooney in attack.
Everyone expected Fabio Capello to lay into his players in the dressing room at half time to provoke some sort of response in the second half. For all we know he may well have done; it didn't have the desired effect though. If anything, Algeria grew in confidence, and even in the closing stages they looked the more likely to score. England replaced Lennon with Shaun Wright-Phillips in the second half, which didn't work. Aren't Lennon and SWP essentially the same player? Shaun had a chance to justify his old man's relentless and tedious blabbering about how good his son was in his newspaper column. Needless to say he made absolutely zero impact. Heskey was taken off in favour of Jermain Defoe, and England legend Peter Crouch replaced Gareth Barry. But even with 3 strikers on the field, England couldn't penetrate the stubborn Algerian defence.
England 0-0 Algeria
The final whistle prompted a mixture of cheering and booing. You don't need me to tell you which set of fans was doing what. The Algerian fans celebrated the result as if they'd won the Cup. The England fans that weren't jeering were sat with their heads in their hands, or just staring into space. England captain Steven Gerrard said "We simply weren't good enough." He held his hands up and admitted that they had been poor, and he should be respected for that. The same could not be said for his fellow scouser, Rooney. As he trudged off the pitch he looked into the TV camera and said:
"Nice to see you own fans boo you. That's what loyal support is."
Excuse me? I'll boo whoever the bloody hell I want, and no over rated petulant little git is going to tell me otherwise. He was useless, a joke on the pitch against Algeria. And yet he has the cheek to say it was unwarranted? Algeria did ok against England, but they were still poor. I suppose that made it worse. If Algeria had actually outplayed England, a draw wouldn't have seemed to bad. But they didn't. They were as poor as England and that made the result an even more bitter pill to swallow.
England's fate is still in their own hands. A win in their final group game will take them through. And that game is against Slovenia. They beat Algeria and held the USA to a 2-2 draw. But England will win won't they? I mean it's a foregone conclusion.
Right?
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